upholstery fixeroo preview

COMING SOON to this blog which is near you because you have opened it like so:

I had to fix my couch set’s ottoman because of the shoddy work the manufacturers did putting it together, so I decided to take some pictures in order to make a tutoriblog about how to fix similar problems you may have with your furniture. You could probably also follow some of the basic steps for upholstering. :p Anywho, I’ll be getting that up as soon as I get some velcro and finish the project. Ta for now.

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Vlog

In about a week or so I’m going to make my first vlog, as soon as this moving nonesense is taken care of. And I’m going to vlog (that’s video-blog, for those of you old farts) about the mother fuckin MVA. Now, normally I try to keep my language classy on this blog, but there’s just nothing classy about the MVA. I don’t feel the need to put that extra umph of vocabulary into anything about the MVA, because let’s be realistic: when you know you need to go to the MVA, the first thing that comes into your mind is “oh fuck”. Whether you say it or not.

So yes. Soon to come. I still love you all. I’m still thinking of witty things to say and type and share, and I promise I haven’t forgotten this rarely visited irl in the blogosphere. Just the crazy busy crap as usual. Anywho, cheerio-pip-pip until time is had to write a bit more.

Friendship done Right

I have a handful of “best” friends. They are people I consider family, and whom I treat as such. I love them with every fiber of my being and am confident that they hold similar opinions of me. But one of my best friends stands out from the others in a very unique way. We’ll call him Bob.

Bob and I have known each other for at least 8 years. We became friends slowly, and to this day if you ask either of us how we became friends, neither of us knows how. Oh, we have our theories to be sure, but we’re not really positive just how it happened. It’s not that we don’t remember interactions with each other from that long ago, though the memories are distant. It’s that, by all accounts, it just doesn’t make sense. Our interests are pretty different, though the overlap here and there and for some time our practical moral stances were quite different. We lived at literally opposite ends of the country soon after becoming “friends” and now we only see each other in person about twice a year; and that’s a good year.

Yet he is closer than a brother to me. We have been there for each other during the 4am phone calls, the family problems, the relationship disasters, likewise through the jokes, the drunk dials, and some of the best times of our lives. As rare as face-to-face interactions are, we keep in touch and both benefit from a very healthy friendship, one uniquely unlike my others.

And for some time I’ve been trying to figure out why. Why is it that in my friendship with Bob we manage to be such good friends, even though so many factors seem to work counter to that result.

And then it hit me: the reason we maintain such a functional friendship is because we do not base our friendship upon obligation. From very early on we both understood, without needing to formally establish, that being friends does not automatically make us obligated to one another. Over the years, we watched other friendships come and go, at times losing most close friends. But our friendship maintained a healthy, functional growing rate. “How does it work?” you may ask. It works by not getting angry because you haven’t gotten a phone call in three months. It works by not maintaining an obligation based mindset that claims that your friendship is conditional. We shared experience when we decided to do so of our own volition. I chose to answer my phone at 4am. He chose if and when to call me back. And both of us have lost dear friendships because other people did not understand the functionality of such an arrangement.

This past evening my husband and I visited with this dear friend of mine, and he is doing exceptionally well. We have truly watched each other learn and mature through the years. Speaking with him is still as easy as it was so long ago, and interactions in person are just as comfortable and entertaining. And we still hold a friendship on self-volition. He did not get angry when I did not contact him for almost a year due to an abusive relationship. I did not get angry when he did not contact me for months while deployed. We missed each other, but there was no hostility due to a lack of communication.

Thus I give you readers an example of how very functional relationships can be when they are not formed around obligation. Most relationships are like this. Relationships with family and friends. The only relationship that merits any obligation is that of a husband and wife, for they have sworn obligation to each other.

Treatment

I found this article particularly interesting today, per a discussion with my husband last night about how to address those living in sin. I must agree that the way to do this is not to picket the sinner (or in this case the instigator of sin), but to be very realistic in your assessment and treatment of him or her. Right or wrong, people are people, and each and every one is different.

Everything We Need

Every once in a while I have these abstract fleeting thoughts of “wouldn’t it be nice?” Like the other day I was thinking of how nice it would be to live on a quaint farm in a barn-red house, raise horses, have great big dogs, be nestled in a vast field at the foot of a mountain, and sleep soundly at night with my husband holding me close and the dogs keeping my feet warm.

But then it hit me: We have everything we need. So my mountains are big cities and my vast field happens to be a school’s property. My big dogs and horses are actually a clever friendly cat, and my red farm house is a cozy apartment. I still curl up at night with a husband holding me close and a cat curled at my feet. We have everything we need.