Responsibility and Blame

I recently wrote a post about my frustration surrounding old friends and bad life decisions. I think this post will be a kind of an addition to that last. You see there is another frustration that tandems the last, and that is a lack of responsibility. Aka: The Blame Game.

I am not the most responsible person. I don’t spend my time as best as I could, I don’t always do my best, and I don’t always get things done. I’ve made my fair share of irresponsible choices and in no way claim to be perfect.

This isn’t about being ambitious or on-task, no. This is specifically about taking responsibility for your own actions. Now I will be the first to admit that I do not like admitting I am wrong. Any of my friends can tell you this. But when I am wrong, I will admit so privately or publicly and I will take responsibility for the word or deed that was wrong. I will be held accountable. This is how I was taught by my Teacher, and this is how I will live.

But I’m noticing a trend. I’m noticing the trend to blame your own wrongs on something or someone else. Your friends. Your family. Your biology. One of my closest friends for some time took very wrong actions driven by very wrong words and blamed his biology. I’ve watched our culture slip into a blame-war over genetics. Suggesting that people are “born [homoerrotic]” or “born [fat].” You weren’t born that way, you made a choice. An unhealthy choice, because it’s what you wanted. If you were a sims character, you’d have a pleasure aspiration. And last, I’ve watched many of my friends blame other friends for making their decisions for them. “Well I decided to go to the party because Sally told me I had to go, even though I knew there were heavy drugs and alcohol. And I tried the drugs because she thought it would be cool. She made me.” She didn’t make you, you made a choice. You decided it was more important to impress your friends than to make the right choice and stand up for what you knew was the right thing to do.

You failed to make the right choice. You and only you will bear the consequences.

Even most recently I’ve been watching this happen. “My friends say ‘do this and life will be better’. So I do what they tell me to do. And life isn’t really better. . . a few times it’s made things worse. . . but it’s more important to be agreeable and pleasant with my friends than have any sort of backbone, right?”

No. It’s not.

Delve deep into what you know and find your bedrock morals and by God stick by them. Take responsibility, grab life by the horns, and stick up for what you know is right. That means admitting when you’re wrong. And standing up for yourself when you know you’re right.

You will be labeled for this. You will be avoided. You will be tongue-lashed and abandoned by some of your closest friends. And when you try to discuss the things that matter to you with others, most of them will not want to listen to what you have to say. But you will be a righteous, responsible person, and that is far more important than any relationship.

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