Yes, you guessed it, this post is going to be all about hair. Why? Because I just spent the last hour putting my poor hair into sponge curlers? No no no. That’s not it at all. How very silly of you! If that were the case, my arms would be aching right now and I wouldn’t be posing anything at all!
*rubs aching arms*
Yes, it’s true, I’m currently waiting for the spongey sponge to dry. To dry my hair that is. I’ll probably take lovely pictures and post them on facebook. Those of you who stalk me there as well can see what lovely results there are from endless agony of the sponge.
I have had smooth silky hair that everyone loves to pet my entire life. “Lucky you!” says the random crowd-go-er. “Not at all!” says I. You see, long silky hair is lovely, and FLAT. When my hair was very long I envied those curly haired people with the long frizzy hair that always looked so perfect with just a little bit of no-friz gel. So I decided to use sponge curlers. I ended up with a world of pain when I realized just what sponge curlers do.
With long hair, you spend an hour+ rolling these lil spongey things into your beautiful long STRAIGHT hair while it’s wet. And when you finally finish your arms ache from holding them up for the past x-long. You feel so very accomplished! There is your hair all neatly wrapped up in tight little curls and they’ll be big and lush and beautiful!!! Wrong. You’re expected to sleep in these things. ?! I know. With me, it didn’t happen. So I looked for other alternatives. Perhaps I could blow dry my hair? Don’t try this. Your scalp is exposed at every instance, don’t even remotely try this. It doesn’t even work. And after waiting and waiting and drying and waiting for HOURS, my hair still wasn’t curly. At all. I recall a few awkward bumps. But after all of the blow drying and waiting and waiting and waiting, my hair was now not silky smooth, but also not in lush curls. It looked like a crimping style gone horribly wrong.
So with the help of some friends, I asked for my long beautiful hair to be curled. And they readily pounced on it with curlers and irons and moose and hairspray. Oh God the hairspray! I was followed by a hairspray cloud the rest of the day! And do you know what? The curls fell out within the hour. They didn’t even stay. They said hello and then *thbbt!* left. No “I’ll call you”s. They snuck out in the night like a guilty politician.
Thus I say to your curly-haired folk: cherish your curls!!! You need only a flat iron to make your hair straight, and yet we straight-haired folk go to such great lengths to make our hair curly. . . AND FAIL! How very sad! 😦 Enjoy your curls and the leisure in which you leave your life!! And that never in a number of your days will you ever need to look like this.