You’re too young to blah blah blah

Lately when discussing my hopes and intentions to marry sometime this winter, I have been scoffed at for my age. I can not help but laugh to my self at the assumptions made about me because I am young. I am 19. I plan on getting married. I have spoken with quite a few wise people about this. I feel confident in the decision. Clearly. And yet people of all shapes and sizes who don’t know me well at all ask me but one question when I mention my intentions: “…and how old are youuu?”

P-lease. How old am I. As if there are not more important questions to be asked. “How well do you know this man?” “You are marrying a man, right?” “Is he capable of providing for you?” “Are you capable of making that large of a decision?” “Have you thought this through properly?”

I could go on.

And yet this is the question that comes up. This is the grand decider of whether or not I should be getting married. My age. I am offended. Particularly by my Christian brothers and sisters, when it comes up. Paul writes in his letters to the churches that if possible, men should not be married in order to focus their lives on the Lord. However, he specifies that for those who yearn for a woman that they should be married quickly so that their lust does not burn for each other. Clearly that’s not word for word. If you would like the word for word, I suggest 1 Corinthians chapter 7. From the passage we can make the deduction that if you are planning a marriage and have thought through the process properly and have arrived at a decision with no reason for delay, then it is just to go ahead with that marriage.

My Christian siblings should be more concerned of my thought process than my age, for it’s only a fool that believes all young people are flippant and all old people wise.

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2 thoughts on “You’re too young to blah blah blah

  1. Agreed! When I met my wife she was 18 and I was 20. We knew right away that we were in love and that it was the kind that would bring us to marriage. We talked about it often. Even though we waited 4 years (her parents said that they would pay for college if we waited) we never dated anyone else.

    It is definitely more important that you have your head on straight than how old you are. Think things through, get feedback from people you respect and trust, do premarital counseling, and if that all works, then go for it!!

    • Mm, yes I mostly agree with you. I would say that considering and pursuing the course of marriage isn’t just about love, though that’s a large part of it. The question is if you’ve taken the time to step back and evaluate yourself and the relationship you have. Love is necessary, but the emotional side of it must be balanced by reason and an understanding of commitment. My point being that loving someone takes so much more than the common dreamy view of being “in love”, but I’m sure you know that, being married now. (Congrats, btw!). The phrasing, I suppose, is a pet peeve of mine, so I just wanted to clarify. ^.^

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