How can you love someone and not yourself?

Leaves are on the ground
Fall has come
Blue skies turning grey
Like my love

I tried to carry you
And make you whole
But it was never enough
I must go

[Chorus:]
Who is gonna save you
When I’m gone?
And who’ll watch over you
When I’m gone?

You say you care for me
But hide it well
How can you love someone
And not yourself?

[Chorus]

And when I’m gone
Who will break your fall?
Who will you blame?

I can’t go on
And let you lose it all
It’s more than I can take
Who’ll ease your pain?
Ease your pain

[Chorus:]
Who is gonna save you when I’m gone?
Who’ll watch over you?
Who will give you strength when you’re not strong.
Who’ll watch over you when I’ve gone away?

Snow is on the ground
Winters come
You long to hear my voice
But I’m long gone

The above are lyrics to a song by Alter Bridge called “Watch Over You”. You can listen to the song here. Or here for an acoustic, HQ version. There’s also a powerful duet here. The song’s been playing again and again in my head today.

For those of you who don’t know me personally, over the past year I was in a relationship with a guy I cared about very much. I loved him with all of my heart. I still do, though not in the same way. During the course of our relationship he became very depressed and made a few attempts to take his own life. Our relationship ended in December and that wasn’t easy for either of us, especially not for him. After our relationship ended it took some time for me to reinforce to myself that I shouldn’t feel guilty about his decisions. It’s taken time for me to learn that I’m not responsible for his actions. And I understand how cold that can sound both subjectively and objectively, but I assure you that it is true and I can tell you that I hope you never learn that first hand. Those of you reading this who are people of faith, I ask that you would pray for this guy because he continues to struggle with depression just as intensely. And although I do not love him as I once did, I am still concerned for him as a person and a brother in Christ.

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